How I Met You

I have this horrified look on my face. I screwed up yet again. I have drained the whole glass of my cold coffee onto the crisp white shirt of some guy. Yes I am totally capable of doing things like these on a daily basis. Though I am well established in my career, or I was, and I do pretty well in my life, but I can never stop myself from making a big fool of myself. How I ended up in this coffee shop at the other end of the city from where I live? Well I’ll tell you.

It was just another day and I was running late to work as usual. It never mattered to me when I walked in my office later than I should. But today it was the day all my Managers are supposed to come to office. By Managers I mean up the hierarchy and I should have reached on time if not early. But out of habit, I ignored my alarm and woke up late. So I had to run to work. When I reached the meeting room, breathing heavily out of running, and everyone looked at me like I was some alien. Yeah I may have looked like one with my bun falling on one side, and some strands falling all over my face. Sweat trickling down from my temples, and I’d rather not mention the state of my shirt. I was no where close to looking professional. So I entered, and I felt weird, as if the sole purpose of this meeting was not the betterment of this organisation but  betterment of Shanaya Jones, and that would be Me. I felt all the eyes on me, as I walked toward my seat.
I filled the silence with my ideas that I have prepared for this meeting. I am not good with apologies so I avoided saying sorry for being late. I was interrupted by my manager when he cleared his throat and said in a very low voice, “Shanaya as you know the situation here, though you have been working well, but since there have been zero catastrophe since last year, we are at loss”
I kept silent because I knew something was not quite right. He continued,  “so we have to slack few people and though you have been an excellent employee, we had to come up to this difficult decision”. And my head went blank. The rest of the words that came out of my Manager’s mouth seemed too distant for my mind to register them. I have been working here for the past 7 years. I joined as an intern and had always been here. I never imagined leaving this place and my life which was pretty much perfect came to an abrupt halt. I feel like my life bumped into a tree that was nowhere to be seen.

I had to compose myself so I don’t make a fool of myself. I dragged through the day and left a bit early from work. After I sat in my car, I shook and a silent tear fell down my cheeks. I feel sick till the pit of my stomach. I started my car and subconsciously took off the route. Right when I was reaching my apartment, I took the left turn instead of right. I reasoned myself, nothing in my life is right, then why turn right. A chuckle escaped my mouth on how stupid I can be to crack jokes on myself.

I took the NH1 and absent mindedly took some side road and halted at some small coffee shop when my throat felt dry. I sat on a corner seat and ordered water and cold coffee. I was on my 7th glass and the waiter kept staring at me like I am some weirdo. Maybe I do look weird since my mascara must have been smeared out of crying. I don’t much care how I look when my life doesn’t look so good at the moment. Well now you must think how can I drink so much, that’s because I skipped my lunch. The news just made me sick and the hunger left my stomach.

The thought of the morning incident made my stomach lurch. I decided to dump my coffee and go to washroom. I got up and dashed into this man and spilled my coffee onto his shirt. And that brings us to now. Honestly I could just cry like a baby because I just feel like I need a reason to do so. But that’s not what I did. I didn’t take the blame but put it on this man, just because I can. I lashed it on him, for coming in my way. I even said you wasted my coffee, and what will I drink. Yeah! I know I feel so much evil, for lashing out on this innocent man, who just kept staring at me. Not in a bad way, instead in a strange way. Like he is searching for a solution. He made me feel bad all over again. Instead of shouting some more I apologised. And walked off before I made more big of a fool of myself, as if I haven’t done it already.

I came out of the cafe, walked to my car and banged my fist on the roof of my car. I  covered my face with my palms and trembled with the feeling of failure. It’s not that I can’t get a job, I can, but I didn’t expect to get this as return for my work. I have dedicated my life to this organisation and what do I get? That’s what happens when you are not at the good side of the managerial politics. I blew a big breathe and uncovered my face. And wow, why is karma being a bitch to me? That same guy is standing in front of me, hands folded, serious expressions and tilted head. Now that I looked at him, he looks good too. And I am sure he must think the opposite of me.

I held his stare for a while and then dropped my head. I asked, “What? I said I am sorry for lashing out on you”
He replied with an amused expression, “That’s not why I am here, you just punched the hood of my car”
Oh My God! I slowly turned my head and this is not my car. This looked like mine with teary blurry eyes, because its black, otherwise it looks nothing like mine. Please Earth, swallow me now, Now, NOW!
I slowly turned to face him, and apologised again, and pointed out, that’s my car there. Why can’t I faint now, and wake up tomorrow when everything is alright. Why does it only happens in movies. This is the perfect time to faint. I offered a weak smile and tried to walk away when he blocked my way. And said with a smirk, “And why did you shout at me when you were the one who spilled coffee on me? Why did you hit my car? You know right, that your and my car are no where close to similar, except for the color of the car. So I shouldn’t believe what you said.”
I hate confrontations, and now when I don’t know the reason for my behaviour,  or maybe I know but it will be stupid to confess it to a stranger. I thought of giving an excuse and then I did exactly opposite of that. Yes! I bawled out everything like I was talking to myself. I was loud, a little obnoxious. But its not like I’ll meet him. He is just like a paper to me, I will scribble my feelings and throw him away. Yeah! And for this karma will come to me in future but I’ll deal with it then. Right now I need to vomit the feelings I have in me and I did. After I was worn out of all my words and felt a bit dizzy, I turned at the man sitting beside me, calm and composed, hearing every bit seriously. His profile looks good in the darkness of the sky, and the only light shedding from the distant night lamp.

He sighed and said, “that’s the very wrong thing that happened to your loyalty, but I am not sure what I can do that will help you” and that’s when I realised he already helped me. I smiled and offered my hand to him, “Hi, I am Shanaya Jones, and whoever you are, you have already helped me. I already feel better than I did all day”. He took my hand and shook it. He said while he kept the hold of my hand “Nice to meet you Shanaya, I am Noel Patrick, and I have no idea how I helped you, but I am glad I could help”

I smiled lightly and took my hand back. I smoothed my palms on the hair to tame the strands that God knows how they look. Honestly I don’t even want to see myself now, or else I will lose the bits of confidence left in me. He got up, offered his hand. I took his in mine, pulled myself up and adjusted my shirt and skirt. He walked me off to my car and I got into it. I slided my window glass down, and looked out of it to him. He smiled sweetly, and my heart swelled. I felt good, like something good happened today, even if I never would see him again. I pulled my head in, and was pulling the window glasses up, when he held it with his palms, and bent down to look at me. And then he said, “I am glad I met you, and can I be there for you the next time when you want to lash out on someone?” With this he offered me his card, and I curled my fingers around it and smiled. I shut the window, started the engine, and left for home. I had this foolish grin on my face on my way home.

It’s always been you – Chapter 2

The day I met you – Shawn

“Ohmigod, you have RISE OF THE DEMONS? Can we play that?”

Oh my God I like this girl, she loves to play RISE OF THE DEMONS. No girl in my school would even know about this game. I am glad I got a good neighbour. I had been worrying who my parents are forcing me to befriend. When I saw this girl at her place, staring at me and burning holes in me, frankly I was a bit scared. But she looked a lost. She has this lighter shade of auburn hair, that looked more brown and slightly curled at the ends. Her eyes were so big that they covered half of her face and she has this deep green eyes with brown at the ends of her eyeballs. She has no freckles and a flawless skin. But the thing is I don’t befriend girls, because they are a different creature, and I would be made fun of if I am seen with her. So I hate the idea of befriend your neighbour, she is new to this place, help her, she is new to school, be her friend. My Mom had been repeatedly torturing me with this crap. But now that I know this girl plays like a boy, and I very well like her. (Not that I want to be seen with her)
“Yes sure”
And guess what..she chose the most gruesome player ‘Captain Tusado’ who is the fastest contender and whose speed neither Chris nor Levi nor any other guy in our class can control. “You sure you can handle Captain Tusado?” I said, and she replied “Dude you have no idea, I am champ of this game”. I couldn’t believe it of course and said “Yeah right, lemme see whatcha got”, and she replied calmly “you’ll see it yourself”

And we played, and boy she beat me thrice in a row and won 5 games out of 7. I don’t really remember how long we have been playing, not that I enjoy losing but I was always the best in it among Chris, Levi and Me, so this was a fun game, and she was all over my bed rolling and laughing her face off every time she would beat me. I have got a competition boy, and not that I was proud of losing of a girl but I wasn’t annoyed, rather it was fun watching her, like she had a stupid kind of laugh, though it sounded cute. She starts with high pitched squeal and will continue her hehehe rountine with hiccups in regular intervals and her whole body is shakes while she laughs. Its funny and very cute, her face has turned cherry red.
She was laughing while someone knocked at my door and Mom entered and looked amused.
“What is it that made Ann laugh so much?”
And she was like heehee hiccup..hee “Aunt Gracy, I beat Shawn 5 times out of 7 and mind it he was flaunting he never loses” and she was laughing again, and her shoulder was bouncing again.
“Gosh Shawn, how did this happen? ” Mom never missed an opportunity to tease me ofcourse.

After few more minutes of laughing Mom asked Annette to stay for evening snacks, and she happily agreed. Mom treated us with orange juice and her chocolate cookies. Annette complimented my Mom and they both were conversing about baking, seems Annette is not all boy, she does have a girl traits of her, I just don’t wish to see it though. Later Annette waved us goodbyes and went to her place and Mom was praising our new neighbours but now I didn’t feel much bad about it.

It’s always been you – Chapter 1

The day I met you – Ann

“Why do we have to leave our house?” I asked my mom, half sobbing, and half expecting probably Mom would agree with me and we would stay here happily. “Ann..enough of this, we’ve already had this discussion million times. You know your Dad has whole lot of opportunities in North Carolina with his friend. Our life would be so much better there, and don’t you worry, Uncle David has a son who is of your age, in no time you’ll be friends, he is a charming lad. And of course you’ll enjoy the snow there in winter, that you can never get to see here”
“Mom, new school is never so fun, and I would miss Granpu so much and he is not even here, why does he have to be in Italy?” I choked down the lump in my throat, I never wish to leave my Granddaddy, I love him so much. “Granpu will visit every once in a while and probably just be with us on our summer vacations. His trip was planned a year back, all money paid, he cannot cancel it just because we pre pond our shifting. Remember Annette, the early you accept, the better. And now I don’t wish to discuss this again, so better pack your remaining stuff, the Movers’ van would arrive in no time” with this she left the room and I shed few more tears hugging my sugglebear but then I knew I had to pack. So I did as I was told, and van was at the door in half an hour. We drove to North Carolina in our Volkswagon Touareg and reached in approximately 10 hours.

The moment I laid my eyes on our new home, I realised it was actually not a bad idea moving here. The house was pretty big, a duplex it is with a well maintained lawn and play area with mini version of swings, slide and a seesaw, but appropriate for a 11 year old kid like me. I was more than happy and weather was pretty cold since in Florida it was scorching heat usually by this hour. We entered our mini palace and I gladly squeezed snugglebear because what was inside was way better than our home back in Florida. There was a huge living room with a plush couch that was calling me, and I just ran and pounced on it. I had this wide grin plastered on my face and I knew this was a very good decision. ‘I Love you mom and dad’. Mom led me to the kitchen and showed me the place, it was shiny black marble and beige walls. I could see my mom had tears in her eyes, and I knew she loved this house as much as I did. She is a great cook and our kitchen back home wasn’t that great, it was small room. My Dad followed us and embraced Mom in a hug, they kissed and I swooned just looking at them. Most kids don’t like their parents cuddling and romancing, but I loved to see them and I one day wish I too would get someone like my Dad. My Mom and Dad were high school sweethearts and I am proud of them. Soon I was engulfed in a family hug and I was grinning all the while. In the middle of our family time the door bell rang, and my Dad excused to get it. Now I could hear some voices from the living room of laughter and greetings. Mom straightened her skirt and combed my hair with her fingers. We went back to the living room and Dad introduced me to our neighbours ‘The Vaughans’ who happens to be my Mom and Dad’s high school best friends. They four were a group and each married their high school love.
Mrs.Vaughan was very pretty and I liked her because her smile was sweet and she got us blueberry cheese cake as a token of welcoming us to the neighbourhood. Mr.Vaughan was handsome with dark brown hair and deep green eyes that crinkled at the ends. He must be of my Dad’s age and Dad and Mr.Vaughan aka Uncle David seems pretty close to each other. My Mom and Dad are pretty friendly, unlike me. I never had a best friend ever back home, just few girls I talked to. Boys, well I hate them because they always picked at me, pulled my hair and called me names. Especially Gosh, he was one bad boy, and he was that one thing that was a reason I considered moving to California.

Mrs. Vaughan aka Aunt Gracy called out “Shawnnn.. what are you doing outside? “. A voice replied back “Nothingg”.
“So why don’t you come inside and meet out neighbours”. And there was no reply, but a minute later a boy entered whose head was low and who refused to look up. A moment later he dragged himself and plopped on our couch. A studied him for a while, he looked better than the boys back home, and he has the same hair as Aunt Gracy, a lighter shade of brown, brunette is a better term. His eyes was brilliant shade of green but when his eyes met mine, they looked bluer, just like ocean. I think he has got eye color of both his Mom Dad and that made his eyes more beautiful, a unique shade. He kept staring at me, and I continued to stare, moreover studying this boy, I have no idea how I could do this, I never had this confidence before to stare at a boy. Finally my Mom said “Ann, why don’t you show Shawn our house?”and I had to look away from him and towards my Mom. “But Mom I haven’t seen the house myself”
“Then Shawn, why don’t you show our place to Annette?” Aunt Gracy said.
“Okay” is all Shawn replied and walked ahead towards the door. As if on cue I hurried behind him and followed him. He didnt say a word and I sheepishly followed. The moment we entered his placed I was hit by the smell of baking and chocolate. I was sniffing when he noticed me and offered “Would you like to have some chocolate cookies? Mom just made them and my Mom is a great cook”.
I nodded and he handed me a plate with 4cookies. I took a small bite and the flavour filled my mouth and I took another big bite. I was chewing mouthful of cookie when he asked “Would you like to play a game?”
I said “yes” that sounded like “yeffff” and few cookie crumbs flew out of my mouth, embarrased I covered my mouth. He found it amusing and he smirked. He asked me to follow him to his room and I did. And his room was way to good. He had an enormous water bed, a bean bag, a study table that was nearly maintained. Either he is a neat freak or he never studies. I was strolling in his room, touching everything. It was beautiful, and neat. He had a television mounted on his wall and he handed me the gaming console.
“Oh God, you have your own television? That’s so cool”
“Yeah its cool but well its child locked and I am only allowed to watch specific channels and till 10pm. My Mom controls it, it’s switch is at her room”
“Still your own TV and a water bed. You are one lucky boy” he simply blushed and said “What would you play Annette? I don’t have much of girls game as I dont have friends who are girls. You can select yourself”
“Ohmigod, you have Rise of the Demons? Can we play that?”

Life with you – Chapter 1

Chapter 1:

Stacey – Is it a start of new something?

Can you imagine how it feels when life becomes monotonous? When you have been working 5 days a week and even work brings no excitement? And the weekend is as lazy as it could get, staring blankly at the television screen, stuffing your mouth with all the junk left in your kitchen, because well, you don’t know what else to do? You wish to call your old friends, but end up discarding that very idea.
If you can imagine afore mentioned, you can relate to how I feel at the moment. I feel dull, mournful for no reason. If you ask someone else, they’ll say I should be more than happy, I’ve got pretty much everything I need, a job I always wanted, a well furnished apartment at New York city, my own new audi A8, that’s more than I probably could have ever thought I could have, but well, life is so monotonous these days, that I at times feel like I should just go on a vacation at the country side. I am almost as dull as I could ever be for the meeting I have with a delegate from our new client “Clintons & Masons”. I look at my own reflection in the full length mirror, and realise that I look as pale and lifeless as an old lady, I brush my cheeks with some more shade of pink, dab some more matt rose pink lipstick, and some frosted pink at the base of upper lip and top of lower lip, my trick to pump my lips. Apply some liquid eyeliner and mascara and stare at myself. My sea green eyes stand out on my face because of mascara, and I look more like a japanese anime with big eyes. My gray pencil cut skirt hugs my curves in a way that makes me smile, and the crisp white shirt looks just perfect and professional. I put on my 3″ black stilettos and hang my laptop bag on my right shoulder and leave my apartment. I get in my car and realise just how smooth this car is as compared to my old Bug that I drew for years where my legs were so cramped that this feels like freedom, and I just can’t help but appreciate every time I ride this car.

I get down and enter the Café Mocha on 23rd street. I scan the cafe to find a man in crisp white shirt, with hair still wet because of shower. His head is bowed and he is engrossed in his laptop screen. He has sharp nose, that holds the rimless spectacles in place, and he is rubbing his chin with his right hand’s index finger and thumb. He does look beautiful, probably the only beautiful client I have seen, as most of the clients or delegates I have met are of my Dad’s or Granddad’s age. As if he could feel my gaze, he pulls his face from his laptop’s screen and darts his dark blue eyes at me. And I don’t know how but I feel like I am a school girl, and have been caught staring at my crush. I feel my cheeks burn, and I gather all my courage and move ahead. I reach his table and I rub my palms on my skirt slowly to get rid of anxiety sweat on my palm, so he doesn’t notice what I am doing. I offer him my hand and introduce myself as “Stacy Maccow, on behalf of Charles Claim Adjusters”, he straightens himself, takes my hand, gives a lopsided smile and says “Chris FitzPatrick, pleased to meet you”. Even my pumps dont give me enough height and I have to angle my head upwards to look at him. I am 5.5″ and with pumps 5.8″, and he seems 6 foot at least.

He offers me to have a seat beside him so we can work on one laptop. The moment I sit, he shuts his laptop and I open my mine and start opening my PowerPoint presentation. He asks me if I need something and I say “Cappuccino please”. He walks toward the queue to order and I suppress my urge to stare at him and continue with running my presentation slides to make sure I don’t end up screwing up this meeting, which has a fat chance of happening if I keep up with this nonsense staring and drooling as if I haven’t seen a guy ever. It’s just that I have never worked with a client who is so young and charming and hot and sexy and.. urghhhh Stace, get a grip.

He comes back with our coffees and a complementary smile from him, and I melt there. Can I be any more stupid? I take a hot sip of my cappuccino and feel the tip of my tongue burn and go numb, and he stifles a laugh, My God! Give me strength to finish this meeting with no more embarrassment. I start with my presentation and when I am working I usually don’t get distracted. He nods a few times but stays straight faced the rest of the times. That’s unnerving but better than he smiling his dazzling smile. When I am done I give him a nod and say “Do you have any questions? ”
And there is that smirk, and he says “lots”. Lots? Lots in what context? Shut up Stace. Perhaps my confusion is visible on my face so he continues “I have few doubts and few questions myself but I would have to go through the details you just proposed and we can get back with this later?”
“Yes sure, let me and Mark know about when should we go through the next meeting, though I would be fine answering your questions through calls or emails”
“That would be great but I would prefer meeting. I would let you know of when I can get back to you. See you probably next week?”
“Sure thing”
We walk in silence to the door, give a nod since I am not sure how to make a friendly exit. I go straight to my office and my day is back to monotonous after that morning adventure. At least I am glad that it’s Friday today, else how am I to survive this whole week when I so want to meet him again? When would he call? Would he arrange a meeting on Monday? Or next Friday? Oh God! Help me.

Book Review: Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen

Flipped by Wendelin Van Draanen
Series: Stand Alone
Published by Ember on May 13th 2003
Genres: ContemporaryRomanceYoung Adult
Pages: 411
Format: eBook





When I picked the book, I was sure it would be a light and sweet read, and Oh BOY, I was absolutely right, but yes it did came out to be better than I had expected.




It was a heartwarming story with a very opposite pair of characters. Frankly the end was not really a “happily-ever-after” kind, nor was it bad, also not what I expected and I was foolishly turning the page just to check if I have missed a page. It was just incomplete that leads you to think of all the possibilities. Probably that is the reason I would say, this story, the characters, the events seem to be close to reality. No doubt, I wanted to read something in the end that is “AWW”, but that would have been a cliché.




Julianna Bakers: Is a 11 year old girl, who is a strong willed passionate person, and who has had a huge crush on Bryce Loski since the day he came to her neighborhood, in 2nd grade. She belongs to a poor family, but a loving one. Her dad works very hard, and also paints in spare time. Her mother is a beautiful and sensible lady. Her 2 elder brothers are musicians who earn and to accomplish their dreams. Juli is a smart girl, who always gets A or A+. And who is madly after Bryce. Uncle David is a mentally unstable person and whom Juli’s dad loves a lot.

Bryce Loski: Is a 11 year old boy, a bit coward and finds Juli a bit weird. Runs away from her all the time. His father Rick Loski is mean and weasely, his mother Patsy is a good woman, and his sister Lynetta is well, black eye-makeup girl. His granddad is the one who brings the change in Bryce’s life (a good one).




Now, the best part of this book, and also the unique factor is:
This book isn’t a set of sequential events. Here the each event is expressed in Juli’s and Bryce’s perspective, and my my, I should say there is a vast difference in each event. While Juli found Bryce awesome, Bryce found her as weird. While Juli thought he wanted to kiss her in 2nd grade, Bryce wanted to run away. While Bryce was hiding from her, Juli thought he was being shy.

When Juli was smitten by Bryce, he was trying to stay away from her. But in 8th grade, Juli realizes that Bryce blue eyes are as empty as he is, she is hurt and tries to avoid him. While at the same time, Bryce realizes, because of his grandfather Chet, that Juli’s passion for things, and the realness of her family, is as beautiful as she is, he is flipped. So his chase for Juli begins.





A very beautiful quote by Chet in this book is:
“Some of us get dipped in flat, some in satin, some in gloss…” He turned to me.“But every once you will find someone who’s iridescent, and when you do, nothing will ever compare.” 




It was a sweet read, and I am definitely gonna watch the movie too which is based on this book. You would definitely enjoy, this is not a romantic novel though.



Happy Reading.

Book Review: Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell

Eleanor & Park by Rainbow Rowell
Series: Stand Alone
Published by St. Martin’s Press on February 26th 2013
Genres: ContemporaryRomanceYoung Adult
Pages: 652
Format: eBook






I picked this book, because yeah I love “Opposites Attract” thing, and so this caught my eye. Also I enjoy reading innocent teenage books.




God.. the ending is sooo unexpected. Leaves me thinking of all the possibilities (good ones). This is the only book that made me relive my school days. It was innocent and beautifully written by Rainbow Rowell, and I would rather thank her for flashing back my school days to me. It was such a sweet love story and the cover picture is just so appropriate and cute. Once I was through this book, I could relate the characters to the cover page. Yes Park and Eleanor hearing punk music :)

I am whirling and feeling giddy with so much of emotions stirred in me by this book. I liked the characters, they are unique and oh-so-lovable.
I can hardly recall reading a book where the boy isn’t handsome/tall, but a cute Asian guy (I like it) and so unique in character. Park was strong willed and loved Eleonor unconditionally. Eleanor was so madly into him..that somewhere before ending I couldn’t understand her behavior of not reading the letters. Probably couldn’t step into her shoes.

I liked the way Rainbow Rowell made me feel about their first hand hold, about the gradual touch of arms. It made me feel a teen again. I am so glad I read this book. I have almost forgotten how it feels to be a young teen, since all the books go much beyond the innocence. I just forgot it is a lot fuss when you are an innocent teen, even holding hands. I am still reeling over it. I am short of words to express my feelings. I loved Park. So much that I wish I had found one when I was in school ;-)

I of course enjoy those books more when both the lead characters have their share of feelings expressed, and here this book had it all.

OMG..I really don’t know how to feel about it. I would definitely read it again. Such innocent book, and nothing was there that I could assume beforehand.



I can hardly recall reading a book where the boy isn’t handsome/tall, but a cute Asian guy (I like it) and so unique in character. Park was strong willed and loved Eleonor unconditionally. So yeah, the girl isn’t beautiful neither does she makes an effort to look one. The boy doubts if he is gay, because he isn’t macho looking. He is Asian, and is short, though is strong enough because of Taekwondo training. He also kind of likes to do eye make up which makes him feel like a character from a comic book. Also because his mom is a beautician.

So PARK and ELEANOR are unique character in themselves to stand out.


The story goes as:

Eleanor is shifted to this town, and into new school with her Mother and Step-father. They are pretty poor, and so her attire is much boyish and unusual. No one let’s her sit beside them  in bus, and Park unwillingly offers her the seat beside him. The gradual closeness, the events how they start the conversation. The first time Park holds Eleanor’s hand in bus (OH MYYY MYYY), it felt good even reading about it. The way he doesn’t understands why he loves her, but he does. The way Eleanor is so insecure of how and why would a boy like Park loves her. Well its beautiful. It is definitely worth reading.





“What do you want to show me?”

“Nothing, really. I just want to be alone with you for a minute.”

He pulled her to the back of the driveway, where they were almost completely hidden by a line of trees and the RV and the garage.

“Seriously?” she said. “That was so lame.”

“I know,” he said, turning to her. “Next time, I’ll just say, ‘Eleanor, follow me down this dark alley, I want to kiss you.'”

She didn’t roll her eyes. She took a breath, then closed her mouth. He was learning how to catch her off guard.

She pushed her hands deeper in her pockets, so he put his hands on her elbows. “Next time,” he said, “I’ll just say, ‘Eleanor, duck behind these bushes with me, I’m going to lose my mind if I don’t kiss you.'”

She didn’t move, so he thought it was probably okay to touch her face. Her skin was as soft as it looked, white and smooth as freckled porcelain.

“I’ll just say, ‘Eleanor, follow me down this rabbit hole…'”

He laid his thumb on her lips to see if she’d pull away. She didn’t. He leaned closer. He wanted to close his eyes, but he didn’t trust her not to leave him standing there.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“I don’t like you, Park,” she said, sounding for a second like she actually meant it. “I…” – her voice nearly disappeared – “think I live for you.”
He closed his eyes and pressed his head back into his pillow.
“I don’t think I even breathe when we’re not together,” she whispered. “Which means, when I see you on Monday morning, it’s been like sixty hours since I’ve taken a breath. That’s probably why I’m so crabby, and why I snap at you. All I do when we’re apart is think about you, and all I do when we’re together is panic. Because every second feels so important. And because I’m so out of control, I can’t help myself. I’m not even mine anymore, I’m yours, and what if you decide that you don’t want me? How could you want me like I want you?”
He was quiet. He wanted everything she’d just said to be the last thing he heard. He wanted to fall asleep with ‘I want you’ in his ears.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“Eleanor was right. She never looked nice. She looked like art, and art wasn’t supposed to look nice; it was supposed to make you feel something.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“What are the chances you’d ever meet someone like that? he wondered. Someone you could love forever, someone who would forever love you back? And what did you do when that person was born half a world away? The math seemed impossible.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“Nothing before you counts,” he said. “And I can’t even imagine an after.”

She shook her head. “Don’t.”


“Don’t talk about after.”

“I just meant that… I want to be the last person who ever kisses you, too…. That sounds bad, like a death threat or something. What I’m trying to say is, you’re it. This is it for me.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“Damn, damn, damn,” she said. “I never said why I like you, and now I have to go.”
“That’s okay,” he said.
“It’s because you’re kind,” she said. “And because you get all my jokes…”
“Okay.” He laughed.
“And you’re smarter than I am.”
“I am not.”
“And you look like a protagonist.” She was talking as fast as she could think. “You look like the person who wins in the end. You’re so pretty, and so good. You have magic eyes,” she whispered. “And you make me feel like a cannibal.”
“You’re crazy.”
“I have to go.” She leaned over so the receiver was close to the base.
“Eleanor – wait,” Park said. She could hear her dad in the kitchen and her heartbeat everywhere.
“Eleanor – wait – I love you.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“I don’t like you, Park. Sometimes I think I live for you”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“Nothing was dirty. With Park.
Nothing could be shameful.
Because Park was the sun, and that was the only way Eleanor could think to explain it.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


“It was the nicest thing she could imagine. It made her want to have his babies and give him both of her kidneys.”
— Rainbow Rowell (Eleanor & Park)


Happy Reading!

Book Review: Winter Longing by Tricia Mills

Why love if losing hurts so much?
We love to know that we are not alone.
-C. S. Lewis

Where there is love, there is life.
-M. K. Gandhi

A kiss is a lovely trick designed by nature to stop speech when words become superflous.
-Ingrid Bergman


These are some of the quotes from this book, which made me feel raw and as vulnerable as Winter Craig. This book is a heartwarming, and made me feel like I can relate to it. There was nothing I found could not happen. Some times I felt “Aww” while others I could feel the stinging teardrop at the back of my eyes. My heart ached for Winter for her loss of her first crush, and only love, her best friend Spencer.

I liked the way the author made small flashbacks after every chapter till the pain of Spencer’s loss was vivid. The writing was clear and nothing made me distract from the situation.

I loved the characters, Winter, Jesse, and Spencer. I could imagine them.

The story begins with Winter confessing her long time crush to Spencer, who too felt the same. They share their first few dreamy kisses. But Spencer’s plane crashes the next day. The story flows with the pain Winter feels, the slight attraction towards Jesse who is very kind to her, and the guilt she faces for moving on.

A very beautiful, heartwarming, a bit painful raw emotions, and bit fluffy story I would recommend.

Happy Reading.